Hallmark Greeting Cards

Published on Thu 07 October 1999

Greeting cards unsuccessfully marketed by Hallmark

  • Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! 'Cause when I got one... I got real snippy.
  • I heard you had herpes... and I feel terrible... I'd say "Get well soon"... but I know it's incurable.
  • My tire was thumping... I thought it was flat... when I looked at the tire... I found your cat... Sorry!
  • You had your bladder removed and you're on the mends... here's a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends.
  • You've announced that you're gay, and won't that be a laugh, when they find out you're one... of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
  • So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day... look at the bright side, she's a really good lay.
  • Heard your wife left you... How upset you must be... Don't fret about your wife though... She's moving in with me.
  • Your computer is dead... and it was so alive... you shouldn't have installed... Win '95.
  • You totalled your car... and can't remember why... maybe it was... that case of Bud Dry
  • So you lost your job... It's one of those hardships in life... Next time, work harder... and stay away from the boss's wife.

This entry was tagged #english

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