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What Men Are Like

Men are like... Laxatives
They irritate the shit out of you.

Men are like... Bananas
The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like... Vacations
They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like... Bank Machines
Once they withdraw they lose interest.

Men are like... Weather
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

Men are like... Blenders
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like... Cement
After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

Men are like... Chocolate Bars
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like... Coffee
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like... Commercials
You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like... Department Stores
Their clothes should always be half off.

Men are like... Government bonds
They take so long to mature.

Men are like... Horoscopes
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like... Lawn Mowers
If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.

Men are like... Mascara
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like... Popcorn
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like... Snowstorms
You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long he will last.


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