Microsoft Winders 98 Alabama Edition

Published on Mon 26 May 2003

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Alabama edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help understanding the commands.

The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads Winders 98 with a background picture of the General Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver. Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive, and floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs.

Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape. Also note that Winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the Alabama edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

Translations of some of the commands and terms used in Winders 98

OK
ats aww-right
cancel
hail no
reset
aw shoot
yes
shore
no
Naaaa
find
hunt-fer it
go to
over yonder
back
back yonder
help
hep me out here
stop
ternit off
start
crank it up
settings
sittins
programs
stuff at does stuff
documents
stuff I done done

Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98

tiperiter
A word processor
colering book
a graphics program
addin mershene
calculator
outhouse paper
notepad
jupe-box
CD Player
inner-net
Microsoft Explorer
pichers
A graphics viewer
IRS
M/S accounting software
IRS2
M/S accounting software

This joke was tagged #computers, #english and #microsoft

 

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