Rules Men Wish Women Knew
Published on Sun 12 November 2000
- If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
- Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down.
- Don't cut your hair, ever.
- Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
- Get rid of your cat.
- Sunday = Sports.
- Anything you wear is fine, really.
- Women wearing Wonder bras and low cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
- You have too many shoes.
- Crying is blackmail.
- Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
- Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
- Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult that peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
- Yes, and no are perfectly acceptable answers.
- A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
- Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
- Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
- If you don't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
- If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, then we meant the other one.
- Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
- Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to appear.
- You can either ask us to do something or tell how you want it done - not both.
- Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
- You have enough clothes.
- Nothing says "I love you" like sex.