Elephant Jokes
Published on Mon 10 February 2003
Q: What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?
A: Anything you want, it can't hear you.
Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.
Q: What's grey and white on the inside and red on the outside?
A: An inside out elephant.
Q: What is grey and not there.
A: No elephants.
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.
Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Ever seen a yellow elephant? (Stup-pid, fuul, idyut!)
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.
Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought it was a game.
Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.
Q: How many legs does an elephant have?
A: Four, two in the front, two in the back.
Q: How do you get an elephant into a Volkswagen Beetle?
A: Open the car door, put the elephant inside, and close the door.
Q: How do you put an elephant into a fridge?
A: Open the Beetle door, take the elephant out, close the Beetle door, open the fridge, put the elephant inside, close the fridge.
Q: How do you get 4 elephants into a Volkswagen Beetle?
A: 2 in the front and 2 in the back
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge?
A: Footprints in the butter.
Q: How do you know if there are 2 elephants in your fridge?
A: Two sets of footprints in the butter.
Q: How do you know if there are 3 elephants in your fridge?
A: Can't get the fridge door closed.
Q: How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge?
A: There's a Volkswagen Beetle parked outside it.
Q: How do you get 8 elephants in a fridge?
A: Put four in a Volkswagen Beetle, four in another Beetle, put the two Beetles in the fridge.
Q: How do you get Tarzan in the fridge?
A: Open door, get two Beetles out, put Tarzan in, close door.
Q: How do you get two Tarzans in the fridge?
A: You can't, silly. There is only one Tarzan!
Q: Why are there so many elephants running around free in the jungle?
A: The fridge isn't not large enough to hold them all.
Q: How many elephants can you actually put in a fridge?
A: Depends on the number of elephants.
Q: The Lion gathered all the animals for a meeting, all of them showed up except the elephants. Why?
A: They were stuck in the Volkswagen Beetle.
Q: How many giraffes can you fit in a Volkswagen Beetle?
A: None, the elephants are in there!
Q: How many elephants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Don't be stupid, elephants can't change light bulbs.
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw 1,000 elephants coming over the hill?
A: "Look, there're 1,000 elephants coming over the hill."
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw 1,000 elephants with Sunglasses on, coming over the hill?
A: Nothing, he didn't recognize them.
Q: Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
A: So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of custard.
Q: Did you ever find an elephant in your custard?
A: No? Well, it must work.
Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?
A: They're all on the same team.
Q: What is more difficult than getting an elephant into the back seat of your car?
A: Getting two elephants into the back seat of your car!
Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?
A: Nothing, peanuts can't talk.