Pick-Up Rebuttal Humor
Published on Wed 05 February 1997
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."
Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there."
Man: "Want to Dance?"
Woman: "No, thank you."
Man: "Don't thank me, thank God because somebody asked you."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "Female impersonator."
Man: "You know, I'd really love to travel to exotic places with you."
Woman: (Tries to ignore him.)
Man: "You know what? I also love sex. What do you say to that?"
Woman: "Hmmm...you really love sex and travel?"
Man: (Nods his head smiling.)
Woman: "Then go take a fuckin' hike!!!"
Man: (Trying to pick up this girl.)
Woman: "Can you pound a railroad spike through a 2x4 with your hard-on?"
Man: (Merely shudders a negative.)
Woman: "Well, a girl's gotta have her standards."
Man: "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?" (Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?)
Woman: "Je voudrais bien, mais je n'ai rien a porter." (I would love to, but I have nothing to wear.)
Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."
Man: (Comes up to a girl and tells her some pick-up line.)
Woman: (Grabs his crotch, looks down at it, and looks back at him.) "Sorry, I don't see any potential here" (Nonchalantly walks off.)
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized, fuck off!"
Man: (Tells a pick-up line at the airport bar.)
Woman: "I like your approach, now let's see your departure."
Man: (Graying man in his 60's.) "Where have you been all my life?"
Woman: "For the first half of it, I probably wasn't born yet."
Man: (Glancing at a girl who had just walked by.)
Woman: "What are you looking at?"
Man: "I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken."
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason!"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
Man: "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman: (Turning and looking at him. Lips parted and moistened with the tip of tongue. Leaning towards him with her hands on her thighs, and her eyes opened to the size of dinner plates.) "You've got a large donkey or Doberman?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."